If you could channel this insane talent for stalking you'd be a great weapon for this country. If you had a crush on Bin Ladin, guaranteed he'd be found, monitered and tagged within five days.
Michelle and I recorded her bunny humping it's little rubber black ball.
Before we started fucking, he laid me on the bed, and asked my what my sleep number was, so that i would be "comfy"
I passed out in the VIP room and she charged me for 17 songs until I woke up, theres a bouncer asking me for $700, fuck tequila
I was greeting people at my door feeding them jello shots out of an ice cube tray with a spoon.
It was beyond pathetic. You yelled her name at every blonde chick we saw hoping it would be her. Then you puked your corn dog
By the way, I'm pretty sure your husband is publicly advocating more BJs for my husband, via Facebook.
It's tough not drinking when the bartender adds rum to your coke without telling you, and doesn't charge you
I don't have to hold her hair back as she blows me but I do have to hold the ball on the Santa hat
She just broke into my apartment while I was asleep, woke me up and drunkenly tried to seduce me for about 2 minutes, then passed out..
Find a vagina and bring it to me. Like feeding a tiger.
Love these next 4 months. Wake up from a college football hangover and get to put your hand down your pants and watch NFL football all day.
but I'm still not sure how you became more and more fluent in Spanish the drunker you got
I wanted to write an apology letter to my vagina after that.
I just puked on the sidewalk. At 11am. Thought you'd like to know.
Just found out I lit my hair on fire last night.
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