Is it weird for a girl to post pictures of her dildo no facebook?
you didnt remember my name all night. you kept referring to me as "the blonde with the fat ass"
so I got guilt tripped into giving her a new years kiss, and she proceeded to try and eat my face while mounting me. when you give a mouse a cookie...
all they had in the fridge was rum and filled water balloons
I think we should go through the tsa checkpoint with raging hardons when we go through LAX. I think we should pass out some viagra to everyone
I'm turning twenty & the only honorable way to exit my teens is by slapping the fuck outta the bag. You better be in.
I'm pretty stoned, and for a second I forgot that I'm not actually Barbie and I was getting excited about all the fun we were going to have on my jet.
It will be like a scavenger hunt.. only we're looking for places to have sex.
My entire news feed is ice bucket challenges. I wish there was a hide from feed button like FarmVille
Just bumped into my ex. Blowing a dude in the ladies' room at Disney World. I guess it really was her not me.
I just remembered touching your bosses wife's fake tits last night. Thanks again for taking me to your work function.
I want to bone him until his eyes fall out
On the flip side, we did almost have sex wearing a gorilla mask and deer antlers.............
Hypothetically, I throw a party and my ex-boyfriend and my current fuck buddy are in the same house... what should I do?
How many beds are in the house? Hypothetically...
So my dad just asked, "did you leave without pants a lil bit ago?"
Randomize
