Came home to a chalk baord that read:" Think like a rapist." Can't say I'm surpirsed.
he wouldnt have sex with me because his guild had a misson on world of warcraft.
Do they make some cleansing product for your soul? Like mouthwash that makes you not a skank? Or is that what religions for?
Eh, i think it's called sobriety. But its not fun.
We're listening to the crystal method and doing bong hits for jesus
How are you texting me from 1998?
Woke up with my foot jammed into a VCR
A three fingered guy just showed up with fireworks and bourbon, tonight will be entertaining.
I'm about to sell my hamster for weed money I'll call you in a few
I feel like I've been hit by a truck, flew up and landed on a fence post that went straight through my vagina. No more vodka and sex for a while.
Do you think county jail has a Groupon?
Whatever it's Canadian jail, it's not like Guatemala or something. It'll be nice and cushy and they'll probably throw him a big bday party with all his friends and strippers
This girl looks like an elf and is obviously on coke. I want to be her.
I can't even masturbate without crying fuck this break up
I THINK it was the lead singer. Whoever he was, I have his number and his dick was pierced.
It was totally the lead singer.
If you keep giving me that glorious dick ill bake you some cookies
I’m doing tequila shots with lesbians. This isn’t how I planned my night but I’m not complaining
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