I jusy said out loud "gingers unite in the middle of the night"
angela screamed across the room SHES A CHAMP when i told the pharmacist plan b doesnt make me throw up
Good luck! Who knows he might be a stallion in the bedroom! or it could be like having sex with a crayon.
We're too lazy to do dishes, so we're making sangria in a flower vase.
You know there's only so much I can do with a great personality.
thought i was the most hungover person in class until i saw a kid puke into his bookbag...he wins
If it's not soft enough to fuck on, then we're not getting the new rug.
You rode him down the last flight of stairs like a human sled.
On that note I give you a 10 for sticking the landing and staying on the whole ride.
The bartender asked if I wanted a to-go cup for my crown and coke.....I just realized I'm back in Montana and fuck did I miss home.
Okay we're getting vodka and coming
Okay. Joe has my machete attached to his belt
Within the span of 10 minutes, I managed to make a slip 'n slide on his stomach, threatened to pee on him, kneed myself in the eye, and almost fell asleep on the toilet....in that order.
Oh god I want to come home! They have an air raid siren here that alerts their neighbours across the desert it's time to come over on atvs and drink.
You really need to not quote Anchorman while I'm giving you a serious blowjob.
she stuffed her marc jacobs purse full of cereal
classy
She was talking about how a garden gnome was hitting on her the whole night. We thought she was just that high, but turned out the gnome was that guy in the weird hat.
Randomize
