My mom just told me that after i turned eight i stopped growing mentally and emotionally
Phease come get me i thought i was in a place i don't even understand
You know your in college when you decide house chores with games of beer pong...
You couldn't find any paper towel to clean up the wine you spilled, so you tried to use her cat.
ooh i remember now. Not very absorbent.
I just told my sister I love her. I'm in no condition to drive.
Also, the drinking age in Japan is 20. At what point in the sky am I allowed to start downing alcohol?
I'm gonna fingerblast you when you get off work. Get ready.
At one point I was giving him a handjob and I started singing Call Me Maybe
If we go out with the 22/23 year olds we should make t a double date. I don't want to endure the judging looks of the public as I rob the cradle alone.
if i cared i wouldnt have woken you up by pouring a bottle of soy sauce on you.
is that what this stuff is?
oh my god. picked the worst day ever to not wear underwear...
I'm just gonna stop you right there because there is, in fact, no such thing.
I woke up and my backpack was empty. He used me for sex, and back to school supplies.
I'm excited I love mornings when I'm not sober
Nothing says hey I wanna be your friend again like ambushing me with a dick pic
You are ridiculously similar to a unicorn, and I want to fuck that unicorn.
Randomize
