its like his balls were made of silver and he was trying to polish the tarnish off
debating whether or not to save the package from my first plan b pill. it would be a nice addition to any baby book.
She used the introduce me to her roommates so she could find out my name trick the next morning..I may be in love.
Watching dad use Doritos to illustrate exactly where to locate the clitoris. How's your family christmas going?
all 3 of us brought blondes home last night. all 3 are passed out. we're gonna switch rooms and see how long until one of them notices.
The question is do I invite my fuck buddy to my graduation party now that my girfriend found out about her?
Used my phone to vibrate 'eye of the tiger'. It's like Rocky is punching my nuts, but gently.
He said, "cum on daddy's dick!" ... I pictured my dad. That just scarred me for life.
I sewed up my pants, stole his girlfriends white shirt, and went to work hungover like a responsible adult.
i have my bailey's and coffee which lasts me until lunch, at which time its appropriate for me to bring a vodka and OJ mix for the afternoon. This university thing is grrreat
The dick pic bandit just sent me a poem about showering..
a large sweaty girl i dont know is sleeping in my bed. A scotish man and a small child looking dude are on the couches im on the floor sleeping and im ok with it
We were covered in sweat and glitter, making out onstage, in front of everyone. I think it was a good night.
All I know is I woke up cuddling a jar of peanut butter....
I brought her cheeseburgers and tequila but she's still mad at me.
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