your butthole totally puckers for the ginge
I start off june hungover/still drunk stumbling down my driveway with the trashcan at 6am..it's gonna be an interesting month
It sucks..Now I'm depressed because appearence wise, she's the closest to my favorite pornstar I'll ever get..
she carries around a jar of peanut butter. "just in case".
Some are given great drunkenness. Others have great drunkenness thrust upon them, in the form of ice storms.
I guess I tried to show you how big my closet was and we ended up eating pickles in my bathroom
Also, we just got yelled at by a cop for being awesome...or making out in a fountain. Whatever.
he stopped midthrust to put on his sex playlist and the first song was 'can you feel the love tonight'
where do you find these guys?
you know that feeling on acid where you think the world stops just to fuck with you? That's what it felt like.
did you just take a shot to penises and friendship?
What would you do if your asshole suddenly made the sound of a sheep duck baa/quacking the words kill me
You are so incredibly one of a kind, it's astounding
I am. I woke up on someone's front lawn dressed as max Payne also be proud.
If you magically turned into a tall white gay guy, ignore this message. If not, then I'm sure someone has your fb password.
she's the poster child for how alcoholism can be fun.
You don't understand. This boy has the Mona Lisa of cocks.
Randomize
