Sometimes I wish I could peel his face off and use it to take all the money out of his account.
I thought pig tail meant you were suppose to grab on to it when getting BJ
Woke to a half burnt 20 in my pocket, covered in mud, clothes all wet, so im assuming I didn't use that 20 you gave me for a taxi
Don't forget: you only show your tits for the good beads. Be judicious.
If for no other reason than to cuddle with that puppy, you have to hook up with him again.
i wasnt laughing because you were puking, i was laughing because three yards away there was a couple seriously getting it on
continuing my moment killer tradition in the best possible way
He's an acquired taste, like S&M or those crunchy things they put in salads
Croutons?
woke up in your bed at 6 AM. on my way home I passed Nathan, bloody, barefoot, and still in a toga. He told me he woke up in a ditch then kept repeating "I'm totally bringing this up at meeting tomorrow". I'm proud of your frat today
btw, whatever u do, dont try and take that towel away from her..i tried, it got ugly..she said some things im sure she regrets.
Her roommate was talking on her cell when I came out of the bedroom and I definitely heard her describe how shitty and terrified I looked. Awesome.
I was gonna make a strong case for you to be my midnight kiss, but poptarts sound good too
New goal find someone I love enough to use these Japanese pancake flavored condoms on
I have blood and BBQ sauce all over my shirt. I blame you for the blood.
Was it a bad idea to have spent all of my tax return on coke?
He’s older
Like “has a job and pays his bills” older or “still watches porn on DVD because he can’t figure out the Internet” older?
Randomize
