Haven't eaten in 11 hrs. I am gonna have so much material to talk about with anorexic girls now
Seriously, I'm delusional. Idk how these models even walk on the runway
that thing about your dad's boner was meant to be a compliment
there was already a condom in her . . and it was bigger than me
and then you yelled "out of the way, i'm a lifeguard!" and everyone let us through
fuck. I just remembered I agreed to let you finger me last night for solely for "scientific purposes"
He spent the entire date challenging me to chugging contests.
Get caught with marijuana. Cop takes piece. Buy new bong. Circle of fun.
Sex on roller skates
Floating mattress
Tie
you took a picture of the hospital bathroom and sent it to me
Operation: pick up a lawyer was a resounding success. Commence operation: football mugshot weekend
I still can't believe that I ate McDonald's off of my chest in his bed...
Cross faded me is not the classiest.
No not at all haha I wish there was a picture of that
Yeah I blacked out in a wiener costume.... I think I'm ready to come home now.
They both showed up at the same time... to surprise me. One had flowers and the other had chocolates. Needless to say, I will be at the bar all weekend long trying to figure out how this happens.
What did you do with the dog when you went into the club?
coat checked
So, I almost went hone with a French guy and a drag queen. Together. Then I became sober enough to realize, that's not my style.
Randomize
