I did the walk of shame to another booty call
I don't think that should turn me on, but it does
Billy Mays is dead too!
Somewhat annoying American icons better be watching their backs
Clearly I understand physics better when I'm on cocaine
Great. My funeral dress now smells of smoke and disappointing sex.
CONGRATS VODKA, YOU WON RHIS TIME..
Ok see being that I'm not present or participating your vague texts "neeeeed that" and "vagina" leave a lot to question.
We just found a knife wedged in between the cushions on the couch you guys fucked on...why is this?
She jumped on a table and took off her shirt and started yelling things that no one understood. For being 3, she has a dead on impression of a drunk party girl.
I let a blind guy feel me up. All he kept saying was "oh fuck yeah!"
Totally had a conversation drunk last night with a bisexual chick at my apartment in Spanglish too.
You're a hero.
She took a six hour road trip with me so I could have revenge sex with my ex's brother. That is the definition of a best friend.
i dont know the whole gay terminator look is really hot on him
Thank you for helping a fellow gay friend today. You are sublime and deserve free tickets to the Ellen show
Tbh the only thing I was fully concerned about from the dream was what type of fucked up parallel universe doesn't have Coca-Cola
You know when you're a kid and you play at the pool until you passed out? It was like that except instead of playing it was sex.
Randomize
