Just put a picture of dead dolphins on her wall...told her the oil spill was her fault.
Look on the bright side, you can mark 'beastiality' off your bucket list
becoming an adult blows. i don't think its possible for me to wake up for anything that doesn't involve kegs and eggs or half naked bums passed out in our yard.
I found a big gulp cup full of vomit in my freezer, are you behind this?
When my alarm went off, he rolled over and asked me: Bacon or dick? Yes, I will see him again.
It must be illegal for me to be this drunk in front of this many children
When I don't want to forget things I put them on my cigs.
C smoking isn't all bad
YOUR BALLS CAME OUT. DONT CALL ME A SHITSHOW.
This is John, I met you downtown last night.
Oh, ok.
This is the cop that kept you out of trouble last night
We're going to ride the bus of mixed signals all the way to unrequited love town and that's where I'm going to live my life and then die.
I'm a terrible person when I drink. I went from fine to not making any sense and yelling about cheese in like 30 seconds.
Actually we have similar relationship styles aka no relationship... it could work
sorry about your sharpie. alex wanted to shave the left side of his body so he had me draw a line over him with a ruler
Very interesting. Let's just say I got home last night and threw up, found a joint in my bra, and woke up naked in my bed
Best single mom victory - getting eaten out in my dodge caravan in the hospital parkade at midnight.Three words: screaming multiple orgasms.
Randomize
