Im doing kagels to the beat of Christmas music... "Jingle Bells" is hard. Try it.
as i creep her facebook pics from back in the day till now, i noticed that her lazy eye has gotten better
I hope that he knows just because i pissed in his bed doesn't mean were together.
You were almost as fucked up as I was the night I hooked up with a bob saget look alike...
This from the guy I found eating salad out of a pot lid in his boxers on his porch last night.
Stop banging my friends. This is getting weird.
Stop being friends with hot 18 year old girls.
Instead of a hangover my body just feels like shame
That is a hangover
I would prefer a headache
He challenged me to a drink off, I couldn't just say no. It was a matter of pride really.
And as he was cursing your name from the bathroom you were ordering yourself another drink on his tab. The poor bastard had no clue you were a pro drunk
In my drunk state I was like I ONLY HAD SEX WITH SOMEONE ELSE BECAUSE HE WAS THE HOTTEST GUY IVE EVER EVEN SEEN
As he was cumming he yelled "Yahtzee" then said im free to go. Thats my one night stand
The guy that stalks me just looked out his window and saw me in his neighbor's hot tub. Get your shit ready the fraternity wars are starting.
He called me khaleesi while I rode his dick. He wins
COME AND FUCKING GET ME I AM IN SOME SORT OF JUNKYARD!!!
i wish he'd fuck me as good as he is at karate.
I hate csi yet I find myself watching a full marathon. I am also eating hotdog buns stuffed with barbecue chips and they are quite tasty
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