How come twittering sounds sexual?
Because of Bambi.
He saved me in his phone as Easy Jen. Should I be offended?
I wouldn't worry about it. He has me as "Sex Puppet."
is it sad that pink shorts and cowboy hats remind me of getting jizz in the hair?
Omg. In the pub, there's a guy shouting at the olympic channel 'yeah! Kill that motherfucker!' we're watching figure skating.
She kept saying "I'm going to hell" the entire time we were fucking. I really wasn't sure what to do... so I agreed with her.
That was definitely the right answer.
There was a guy running for some position in our government named "young boozer" hell yes I voted for him
Just found a hole in my wall with your left shoe in it.
Omg calling you in 10 to update you on who I peed on last night
Her ass is the reason I still believe in a higher power
Well I met my booty call's parents by accident, so that happened.
Turns out the dorm toilet can't take a punch. Gonna be a long year without Mexican food.
I cannot lay down. I will throw up my life and your life and the class hamster I had in third grade.
dude where did you go last night?
when the tequila says to run, you start running.
Haha! I swear, it's like I'm talking to Buddha with a slutty agenda. You are so full of wisdom.
Its only once in a life time you get to pick your vcard swiper up from jail
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