grandma shit on top of the toilet
I ate one of your animal crackers. just one. ok four. but no frosting. ok frosting.
high in an attic. pig roast in 10.
the whole "pretend to be sober/pull it together for my family" thing really blew up in my face when i threw up into my pillowcase.
My hanfda are one with the u niverse and I am cirretnly inhaling a couch
He made me hold his dick and say "I solemnly swear that I'm up to no good"
We need to play Chardee MacDennis. Contact me when you have an available date. This is not a question.
We fucked in my trunk while on the clock....what did you do at work today?
drinking vodka, listening 2 smh at 530am slow cooking beef stew. you'll enjoy the stew and worry abt me in the morning. bon apatite
One of the art pieces was basically this chick throwing raw meat at the audience, anyone who got hit (which I did) got a free shot of whiskey. It was worth it.
I want Walter White to make me a bologna sandwich while I'm chained to a support
I just gave him road head. He came in the Taco Bell drive thru which seems pretty typical for my life.
I'm naked in a forest ranger station right now
Is it weird that I shop for lingerie by thinking if it will look good on both me and your floor?
No. Not at all.
Nothing quite like spending your evening singing Shania Twain I Feel Like a Woman barbershop quartet Style with some homeless guys outside of Keyport liquor. love Shania Twain. How's your Sunday?
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