i googled "the goonies drinking game." i may be alone, but i'm living the college dream.
He showed me a four inch blond hair that grows out of his side. He calls it his little ray of sunshine. Please come get me.
giving him head while hes talking to his fiancee on the phone about inviting me to their wedding.... im invited. should i go or would that be wrong?
I just masterbated while imagining him getting hit by a truck. I have hit a completely unacceptable level of anger & bitterness. Help.
At what point in my life was I not hugged enough to be on my fourth walk of shame in half as many weeks?
Apparently as I was doing the walk of shame home my dad's date was on her way to hers. hoes come in all ages these days
He started to lose his balance halfway through his "commencement speech" at the top of the staircase. The rest is bloody, profanity-laiden history.
I promised myself in the hospital that I would give up drinking for however long the cast stayed on. Thank god it was only soft tissue and not a fracture.
I got high with the cantor. Rethinking this whole non-practicing Jew thing.
I'm still confused. So he's NOT your cousin by blood, but WAS your cousin, on two separate occasions, by marriage? Still too weird I think...
Also, my phone suggested the phrase “puke in the mailbox" how many times have I had the need to text that to people?
I remember sitting in your lap naked saying I don't want to be all looks while you gently rocked me back and forth
I told him I had the birth control implant in my arm and he looked me in the eyes, said "Science!" and came in me
i thought this was a perfectly normal conversation between two adult men about why this children's cartoon is quality television but no you just gotta be talking shit again
look, bitch. one day when everyone i care about deserts me for my severe moral depravity, you're going to be the only one i have.
i can't wait.
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