Seriously, I'd take them all over any of the milfs here...and you know how much that means coming from me
the maid of honor just got in a fight with the mother of the bride at a gas station across the street. best. wedding. ever.
At least he's not married... I hate Halloween hookups
Was this before, or after you took my brand new bag of shredded cheese, and "Made it rain"?
we played dirty jenga the drinking edition... some girl really just broke a rib? how do we even go this hard
Random Survey Question: If things start getting serious with this cop, do I have to stop doing coke?
Happy birthday, you long dick monster
I wish we could all take a bath together. Not in a lesbian way. But in a relaxing drunk in the tub sort of way.
He gave me the "find somebody who wants to date you for who you are" speech while I walked around the house asking people for pants.
Just saw a government minister puke and rally.
I'm not asking for life coaching, I'm just asking if you know where I left my underpants.
I take Paypal, cash, sexual favors, and roasted red potatoes with garlic as payment. You choose.
how do i say "cradle the balls" in Italian
I'm totally picking out my shrooming outfit and blankets right now
How's the party?
I'm watching two people get flogged. Sothere's that.
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