New word for getting laid so we don't sound like whores in public when we are talking about it : stamp the passport
She started crying while we were cooking shrimp because 'Under the Sea" came on Pandora
well isn't that the pot calling the kettle a make out whore
He pulled his dick out during the Bourne Ultimatum, ruined it for me.
We make out exclusively when we're drunk. That's like a relationship for me, right?
You are number one in my heart. But in the dick Olympics you're disqualified.
Please tell me that chemistry equipment is for chemistry and not for producing felonies.
Come make me food. I feel like if I go in the kitchen I will just get Gin.. and pass out in there.
i could have been the DD. this is ridiculous. i'm the most sober and getting the least ass.
Needless to say, she forgave him, they're back together, and I'm seriously considering having a lesbian year.
I have so many plans for this weekend and sobriety is not invited.
That moment when I wear the same thing I did to a motel nooner to my family's Christmas party... Ho Hoety Ho bitches
I wish so many great beards were not attached to even greater jerks. All that face sitting potential wasted. Some of the greatest tragedies of this century.
Good morning! Or after noon. Sorry for falling asleep in you
I'm going to start talking to Bill again, he has friends with boats which means we'll get to go on boats.
Randomize
