i have a feeling he has a nice dick. i can just sense it.
pretty sure mid blowjob I told him I needed to call you and ask you if this was whore-ish. He hid my phone from me.
found the other keg... it's in the tree
tequila makes me forget i have legs
mom found the triscuts in her underwear drawer, its done.
I need someone to meet me at the end of the road and throw captain morgan at my face like they do with water at marathons
I'm going to need to borrow your helmet cam for my Wednesday night blackouts.
U should just post that picture of u two on facebook with the caption, does anyone know this girl? If so please tell her to take plan b, thanks
The sun and I are not on speaking terms this morning
What if he turns back to me, finds me seemingly fondling my breasts, and thinks I'm turned on by eagles?
She rode my dick so hard I momentarily lost hearing. I guarantee I had the better St Patrick's.
I have never encountered a chode in the wild
I believe you can. But if you can have rum with breakfast then do that. Definitely do that.
I vote we just hike, drink, and destroy dick
you told us the chicken was mocking you, then proceeded to explain that every time someone reads your mind you accidentally think of something sexual
Randomize
