i just google imaged poop.
apparently, "please pick me up from the airport" also means "i got drunk on the flight and need to give you roadhead in broad daylight"
Ps what kind of horrible ppl are we that we both checked blackberries during sex and neither minded?
your suggestions for charades were, getting sucked into an aircraft turbine, getting raped by a dolphin, and having sex with a vacuum cleaner. you got your own, and actually used a vacuum cleaner as a prop.
She sent me a text saying she picked out 17 different Halloween costumes for our kids when they hit the age of 4... The cling factor should have me running right now but honestly I'm just curious
Just croosed over that too drunk for chemistry class line
Sarah likes to play this game where she leaves her thongs at every party. she hides them where hopefully gf's will find them. I caught her naked from the waste down in my freezer this morning
This is the third time that ive slept with him. He bought me more milk. I can feel the romance growing.
But mostly fuck him senseless. Render him speechless. Have him look at my vagina and wonder, "WHAT SORCERY IS THIS?!"
He was dressed as a cowboy and he was dancing with my ex roommate. So I took his gun and pistol whipped him with it..then somehow we still slept together..
Hey remember that time you called a woman a "man in a dress" and then threw up in a drinking fountain?
Bless her heart. Her stupid, drunk, adderall-ed heart.
You knew you'd end up at his house the minute you emptied the bowl of condoms into your purse.
I had a dream he was standing in front of me naked and flexing while yelling VICTORY and gizzing all over the floor.
They found me wandering around campus screaming body shots over and over again wrapped in a curtain
Randomize
