This is evicking siegelnvs
Im sorry?
This is fucking ridiculous*
in jail i did the beyonce ass shake for the police officers & called Sally from my collect phone in my cell & started singing "im in JAAAIL IM IN JAAAIL",
Why didn't you tell me that Dad was a registered sex offender?
We were going to tell you eventually, how'd you find out?
Our school resource officer showed us how to use Family Watchdog and pulled up his picture.
...she's taking her top off and singing songs from Anastasia. I swear to God were solumates.
yeah after seeing those pics of her puking into my underwear drawer i remembered again why i didn't want to invite her.
you didn't check your sock drawer yet did you
I made a mac n' cheesicle. Better in my head than in real life. Gonna keep smoking to see if it gets better.
The lack of pants and amount of productivity in my life right now is amazing.
So apparently when I was 2, I went around drinking everybody's beer at some wedding, then passed out in a corner....
This explains a lot.
I popped a zit on your vagina. Don't say I never loved you.
I have jerked off in every room in your house. *the more you know
Dude he was a used car salesman for his friends' penises. I know I have something here that's right for you!
Don't be too mad at the guy who broke your kitchen table. Didn't get his name, but he knew all about your gay porn career. Like DETAILS...
We need a hype man... Like a DMX type dude to just up the ante constantly...
Im including "no monologues past 1am" in the list of apartment rules. Theatre majors dude.
Bottom line; if I'm coming out of my bat cave to do the dishes and get a chicken wing and I have no pants or makeup on and my messy bun looks more like Santa got leprosy and crashed his sled into the back of my head then let me be. That's all I'm saying.
Randomize
