is it wrong to smoke out middle schoolers?
yes...dear jesus what did you do?
bwahaha. ask your little brother in about 20 minutes. im dropping him off.
I wish I had more reasons to start sentences with the phrase, "Here's the thing you've got to remember about cougars ...
after the first, "yea you like that baby", i quickly remembered why i had stopped having sex with him.
Eating alone in the dark with one candle. This is sorta sad.
So apparently when I was 2, I went around drinking everybody's beer at some wedding, then passed out in a corner....
This explains a lot.
90 In a 65. Talked my way out of it with the i have to poop story. i am the ticket jesus
We were driving to the party as he was giving me key bumps.. That's what I call team work
You just kept yelling, "THAT'S THE POWER OF PINESOL, BABY!"
Just had such a rough shit, don't stop believin had to be played
Apparently he's taking the slut he cheated on me with on a cruise for her birthday. THAT COULD HAVE BEEN ME. TITANTIC STYLE.
He's a real gentleman. At least he tried to flush my closet's handle after he pissed in it.
a victory without nudity is not really a victory
I don't see why I have to pay for it.
your head went through the window, you're pretty much obligated to pay for it.
How high are you rn
Well I just ate a cheesecake straight from the box with a fork and now I’m laying upside down in a recliner chair seeing if I can Uber eats Doritos
So not that high
Okay. Did I say I did anything unusual? Because I usually do weird stuff. Did I clean mirrors? My mirrors are really clean, and I think I remember having windex..
Randomize
