Do you remember getting into a Delorean last night?
you would pick up someone in the library
hahhahahha. mid doggie-style, i faked an asthma attack. the sex was that bad
sitting in an airport in detroit. just saw a commercial for detroit tourism with kid rock as a spokesman. reason # 1458 to never visit this city.
i'm almost done photoshopping my face on his wife. it's a done deal
Nothing says "I'm a sorority girl" like puking at 830 in the am, wearing my anti-hazing pin, and getting ready for a tea party.
There was an awkward moment where I was going for his cock and he reach out and held my hand, thinking that what I was doing
she's living proof man. somebody has literally pissed in the gene pool
and that my friend is why you dont go in for an eye exam and drop 250 dollars on a pair of glasses after smoking a blunt
I whipped my shit out and she just stared at it with a mean face. It was like a face off in a heavyweight boxing fight.
I lost my bar virginty and made out with a dwarf. It was a good night
I should have listened to my dad and mean girls... If you have sex you'll get pregnant and die.
I got a snap of someone jumping off a light pole. Was that you? Please confirm or deny. #onWisconsin
I'm so hung over that I just tried to send you a screen shot of the cracked screen on my phone.
and you fell through a lawn chair
Randomize
