My liver just broke up with me...
thank you for a lively/lovely evening :)
should have blown me.
Small penises have feelings too.
I just queefed in yoga class and now the old man next to me is smiling at me.
I mean this holiday was built on cheap beer, shitty whisky, and processed meat... and I fully plan to honor that
I want a vodka facial right about now. I'm talking about straight vodka bukkake
i just missed the spain goal because i was puking in the bathroom. damn you open bar.
The entire time I'm blowing him she's in the back seat lecturing me on the reasons why you're not suppose to do that while they're driving...
Dude it was a mini horse. It obviously only eats mini things.
So I bought some random chick a shot she puked in her hands then I watched her make out with my roommate
We haven't even scratched the surface on the damage we could do. Just saying
I was going to say "wearing plaid doesn't make you gay, I wear plaid!" but then... heavy sigh
He blacked out and wouldnt drink anything unless he funneled it, so I made him funnel water
I need two food groups: booze and turkey sandwiches
My dad is sitting where you rode me
Randomize
