Well you know what I always say about freshmen.... If you want it, and they've got it... get it.
No matter how drunk I am, I will take the time to wipe a pube off the toilet seat.
is it bad that the first thing i do when i get downstairs is go on farm town?
Nights of college: 1. Virgins: 1. Yes.
is it bad that the only reason i knew what antidote meant in class today, was from years of playing pokemon?
Fucking Canada. At least when they wake up tomorrow they're still in Canada
Just took a celebratory "i havent slept with anyone in this bar" shot. yesssss....
I feel as if I owe my bloodstream some tequila.
We are taking shots for every green Lon-Capa box we get for the homework.
He fell off the roof... he clearly has not been preparing for summer.
It was awesome explaining why I had a tiger with boxers in my bed, a little bit drunk, to a girl in a pre-sex moment
there is a video of me from last night trying to light my breath on fire. that drunk.
You're asking your pregnant booty call to go to a funeral with you?
I had a dream I gave a blow job to a guy whose dick forked off into two. I'm going to spend the rest of my life confused.
I no longer have the means to support both a women and an alcohol addiction
Randomize
