No she wasnt mad! I told her that I "mis-remembered" nailing her friend.
he looked like jesus. just the kind of jesus i would have sex with.
Five Mah tais Laser and i skill have not drunk dial you
Do you ever just think "I could really go for a good 30 minute blowjob". I do. Everytime jill smiles.
this is probably the only time in my life that i would want to fuck thomas jefferson
he got kicked out of the bar for falling asleep on the mechanical bull.. then freaked on us cause we wouldnt go to the strip club with him
Please, take the 2 shots of vodka that I left as an apologie.
Irrelevant. Does he have queso? That's the real question.
For every drunk face picture you send me, I'm gonna send a wholesome family photo.
I faked an orgasm during phone sex last night. This relationship is starting to become real.
I was talking to another guy at the bar last night and all of a sudden a flying piece of Sausage lands on my boobs. Then I hear my boyfriend yell, "just marking my territory."
Dad stumbling and puking in the White Castle parking lot = Father's Day success
We are all yelling at the cat at our apt in nothing but our underwear. How do you think it's going.
Did you clean his pubes up off the table yet?
I want to be tan and drunk. Is that too much to ask for?
Randomize
