...i apologize for hitting you up so much tonight im just kinda in a little pickle. im going to sleep in my car near u so pretty plz lmk if you head home...
dinner at cheesecake factory: $40. drinks at yard house: $50. having sex in the VG parking lot while people are staring at you awkwardly: priceless. Goodnight.
where does the pee come out of this thing
He IMed me 5 times, before my homepage even loaded. This is not gonna work out for me
Dude... Hand job in the lake... It was as weird as it sounds.
I don't know what's worse....that fact that my dog ate my vibrator or that he later puked it up on my bed
You're just mad at the fact that I want to be a car alarm.
You were definitely doing something right. You could only see the colored parts of his eyes a couple of times. I was pretty sure he was dead at some point.
They are taking turns pissing on the fire. This is my life.
Can I just say I love the fact that were in business with guys where I can write a hand job up hoes down text message
YOU WOULD BE SEEING ME. IN MY KITCHEN. BENDING OVER MY OVEN. MAKING YOU CAKE.
Wait, that's an option?
btw, whatever u do, dont try and take that towel away from her..i tried, it got ugly..she said some things im sure she regrets.
She's seen your dick through your pants. You don't need to ask
She rode me wearing nothing but a Santa hat. Merriest fucking Christmas!
Have you ever wanted to murder the Sun? To bring the life-giving fusion reactor to a bitter end because of the sheer agony it brings to your eyes as it keeps you awake. And for waking the birds. Fuck birds.
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