a smallpox vaccine scar is like a lower back tattoo.
the only girl from my high schools graduating class coming to our school next year went stag to prom and still has braces...
dibs.
He tugged on my tampon string and said 'there's a snake in my boot'. Needless to say he called me Woody and quoted Toy Story the rest of the night.
just scratched off #34 on my list of things to do before age 30 - drunk in a helicopter.
im too high. i could barely wash my hair, let alone handle a whole shower
I SWALLOWED her nuva ring. Please tell me how your night could have been worse.
It's like salsa. But with balls in it. I like to call it balsa
Somewhere between yelling how am I gonna make it to my flight and more titie shots I stopped caring
I'm sorry i ruined our friendship with a boner
Just saw you drinking out of a flask on national tv. I've never been more proud of you
when i saw his roomate the next night he kept openly referring to me as "the girl who orgasms loud" when he would try to get my attention
That edible kicked in right as I was upside-down on that rollercoaster. Fucking.mind.blown.
Fun fact: deep throating plus dehydration plus eating a lot of citrus = my throat is fucked. Metaphorically and physically.
the fact that your 21st birthday is also new years eve is pretty much a death sentence
you fell asleep with her panties on your face. how are you surprised??
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