I think my vagina is haunted
so i was creeping on him today and there was like nothing new except he became a fan of getting dome
i wish i could be like. "i like giving dome, lets be friends"
tip of the day : never have sex with a full bladder. it WILL lead to complications and a very unhappy partner.
The world would have a new energy source if someone would just take a blacklight to the backseat of that slut's car
He told us that was the only place he could get service when we found him in the closet passed out with a beer
if you want blown tonight you're gonna have to take me up on that offer now. in less then 45 minutes you're gonna be blacked out and i'm not doing something i'm not getting credit for in the morning.
i'm not a hellocoptur, but youer in a dorm ans im un a dorm
yeah, i found the sharpie that everyone use to sign my tits last night. its dead.
i think smoking weed in a ladies bathroom on the beach with two dudes might be the shadiest thing ive done in a while
i meant to type that i went to that party for shits and giggles, but my phone corrected me and said for shots and goggles...either one works
hahahaha what do we need the kangaroos for? please tell me we release them instead of doves
Literally if she wants to make a big deal, I'd rather have shit smeared on my face.
Last night I dreamed that I got eaten out by Lego Harry Potter.
I just want to braid flowers into his hair and steal all of his pills.
Um..... I have taste. The only thing I am going to bedazzle is my vagina.
Randomize
