Lets drop out of school and be professionally skinny and drunk
Just dominated the men's bathroom at work. Sounded like the intro of a death metal song.
I could be wrong, but im pretty sure i jumped off the roof after my lighter.
Just curious... Do you still have the cocks bracelet? You know, the one we pass around to whoevers been the biggest slut recently?
All I remember is passing out with an umbrella over my head and waking up screaming bad luck for seven years
Drinking Patron always ends with me puking or receiving anal. So make your move when I start ordering it.
I got dressed on his front steps, peed on his neighbors lawn, then did a shoeless walk of shame home at 5am...
Im in my back seat in my own drive way with two beers left to shotgun and watching the sunrise. Am I over her yet?
I woke up to his balls in my face, so naturally I limboed under him and headed to the bathroom. When I came out he was asleep on the floor.
My desperation for dick was off put by his anime figure collection.
Ugh... The hoe gods giveth and the hoe gods taketh away.
Usually it's tequila, or vodka. But today was just the devil
I just do things that aren't classy the classy way.
Baby Shark came on during sex.
She has BABY SHARK on her sex playlist. Who does that?
I went with vodka instead of tequila tonight so I make better decisions. Fool proof plan.
Randomize
