my boobs just fell out on the dance floor. my wedding is totally beating your wedding
think im gonna go get a six pack before class and sit in the back of the room...
I told him i wanted to be exclusively cheating with him
I think I explained what happened in the voicemail. But I think I might have just cried and ranted about how cool osiris shoes are
Yes but that point is quickly negated bc u should never have to search more than one room to find your underwear.
I feel as if the hash cupcakes on top of mushroom chocolates was a little excessive last night
You pole danced in your parka.
I changed my birth control schedule so that I'm on my period while you're gone this week
I don't deserve you.
She wants to go furniture shopping for memorial day so we've gotta go portable
thermos full of jaeger bombs?
Affirmative
had a nice chat with the older gay fellow who works in the bakery at the new vons about vday...we both feel that it's a day of dashed expectations & concerns that we'll have to be cut out of our spanx
My mute roommate is using sign language to ask a guy to fuck her.
lol hangovers are for mortals.
Not sure if I should ask if I can have my underwear back or just avoid that all together.
My fuck buddy just proposed... Correct me if I'm wrong, but doesn't that completely defeat the purpose of FRIENDS with benefits?
Now you can be friends with Insurance Benefits.
How... how did you get Adam Lambert's shoes? Does he know you have them? DID YOU STEAL ADAM LAMBERT'S SHOES?! Oh my God I am so turned on right now.
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