So you refered to him as "monster dick"...not so much
Going to eat lunch. Bunch of people in church clothes, and we are hungover, wearing pajamas, and in real danger of puking on the floor. We're about to destroy the ambience of this joint.
Her boobs looked like leather oven mitts. No more cougar hunting for awhile.
Is it a bad thing that the only time i wear nice clothes to class, is when i get too fucked up the night before and wear the same clothes i went out in?
See, not all bad decisions involve my penis.
I don't want to talk. I just want to motorboat those tits
they drunkenly created an obstacle course for the poor hamster and its ball.
There is a reason for guards on beard trimmers I just clipped a wrinkle on my sack so much blood
Nah, this is the University of Tennessee. She'll get the clap, and get busted for having pot in her dorm by spring break. This time next year she'll be part-timing at a community college as a nursing major. So predictable it hurts.
I'd like to request an "its my birthday discount", and for you to bartend shirtless tonight ;)
He fucks like those drill things that you see when you think of texas
We hooked up and then we watched game of thrones while he fed me chocolate. I don't see how our benafriendship is a bad thing.
We were just sitting together and this guy walks up to us and says, "you ladies are drinking too slow", puts a 5 dollar bill on the table and just leaves the bar. Helloooo Taco Bell
Your Vodka Saturday privileges have been reduced to Beer until you go a full month without losing an article of clothing.
I was trying to type "I just want you naked" and it put "I just want you baked"
Randomize
