maybe if you didn't yell 'buh duh duh da duh da dats all folks' when you came she wouldn't have left last night
We just saw a waitress walk by with a tray of bacardi and whipped cream.
Whoever ordered that deserves a pat on the back and the "classiest customer" award
Just saw someone buying TWO six packs of O'Doul's. WHY ??
my cabbie only has one arm...this can't be safe
She got subburned last week and her bikini ties in the middle...when I took off her shirt, there was a sunburned bow between her boobs. Like a present. Happy birthday to me!
We fucked to techno music while he wore shin guards... best sex ever.
Party was cancelled. Me and my dog are high as tits. Wanna go roam the outlet mall?
I'm by the dj to the left. Come get me now this girl is talking about baby names and I dnt even no hers
I can't see you
I'm the only one that's wearing a tarzan outfit get your ass over here you douche
Remember that time you came over to my house and I was on the porch naked and eating peanut butter?
I'm about to ride on a tractor i have no time for you
it's always good to have a friend that's a hairdresser, a massage therapist, maybe throw in a lawyer just in case, and always have a friend on food stamps
In Texas. Drank way too much wine. Puked in a gallon zip lock bag. Passed out at 445 with the ENTIRE family here. Got up at 745 in time for dinner. I made you proud!!!
It's like I'm tryna ride my horse through dennis quaid’s vineyard
That's a sexy sentence
Never thought I'd see the day when I got assless chaps in the mail, and yet here we are...
Im not as flexible as I once was, but I still managed to get eaten out in the front seat of a hummer behind keddies.
Randomize
