haha you were like: "I don't want to uh pressure you.." as you took your own shirt off
my orientation roommate looks just like New York of Flavor Flav fame
She had been watching Bad Girls Club where the annoying girl always says "I RUN L.A.". After she got wasted she kept going up to strangers at the bar yelling "I RUN FAYETTEVILLE." I peed in her drink.
I HAVE FLAVORED BLOW. THIS SHOULD NOT EXISIT.
i just remember doing it on a pile of clothes while i heard the muffled sound of his friend laughing. then i realized we were in a closet.
Yes. I am getting trashed on an open tab while judging a karoke competition
Impressive. I approve.
Just woke up in my fuck buddies bed with, from the looks of her ass and side boob, a girl that is not my fuck buddy. This should be interesting
So it's ironically funny that my psychiatrist's office and my cocaine dealer's house are on the same street
Just puked in a cup. Poured it out the window.
The stripper was super into me until she pulled out my tits then I realized.... This bitch is just using my ass to get MORE TIPS
Apparently I've texted the word shitfucked so much it auto-completes it now.
I wanted to waterboard myself with beer, but no one would give me their shirt to do it.
Well we can add this to the list of 'where the hell did that bruise come from?'
We need to get walkie talkies for when we're drunk so if we are at different parties or lost we can talk
Dad is wasting no time getting back out there. Just walked in on him and a Twin Peaks waitress in the hot tub
Randomize
