The human being growing inside of her was a mistake. Lets just hope the boyfriend isn't.
Mission leave-the-puke-on-the-floor-til-the-dog-eats-it completed. I work smarter not harder
Do fat girls normaly have fat that look like a penis by their pussy?
What the hell did you do last night?!
No, he grudge fucked my ex so I wouldn't be tempted to get back with her. He is either the worst or best friend ever.
You told the cop at mobil to keep it real and look both ways before crossing the street.
Out of control sex drive for a girl? I just masturbated in the bathroom at my in-laws house before dinner....
Yeah, I've been trying to get him to eat healthier. Turns out he'll eat almost any fruit or vegetable as long I let him eat it off my body.
it's not that I hate people, I just want to rip most of their faces off.
He drinks vodka like healthy people drink water and I wanted to have his adopted gay babies. That's all. I'm going to go find him and potentially propose.
In last nights drunken stupor i apparently purchased a luxury travel package for two to Australia. So uh...get a passport and clear your schedule for next month
IT IS EARTH DAY, RECORD STORE DAY, 4/20 EVE, AND SATURDAY ALL AT THE SAME TIME!
she doesn't even know what year it is. She just stumbles around life with a bottle of rum
Our office went out together for the first time to celebrate the fact our coworker got fired.
My professor just asked for my number. Not fucking her till after finals though I learned my lesson last time.
you said you were going to the bathroom. we found you an hour later laying in the backyard clutching a bottle of vodka while singing the beatles and crying
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