I woke up on the stairs at of a Disneyland hotel. Yes, my night was amazing.
literally have a bruise on my forehead from being over the toilet all night.
The look I see on guys faces when they realize my nipples are pierced remind me of when my mom used to come home from the grocery store and surprise me with poptarts.
This morning is cloudy with a high chance of vomiting all over the dentist. Stay tuned for further updates.
Every time I drink before 5 somebody's pet dies
Stop drinking before 5
Easier said than done
It has been so long since I got any action that I have decided to change my vagina's name from "the chamber of judgement" to "the cave of forgotten dreams".
Just told some little girl not to judge me as I brushed my teeth in the target bathroom
my suitemate came in my room last night and flashed me. and then she just walked away. deff transferred to the right school
Also, do you have any insight as to WHY I have a note saved from the 17th of June that reads *clears throat*, "you got that swanky blues libido"
I just spent 30 minutes plucking my 2 month grown out pubes with tweezers so I’m hope your night is going better than mine
Well that didn’t go as expected.
I mean, it ended in you giving each of them a blowjob, so it kinda did.
we thought it would be safer to lock you in the car alone downtown than take you back home to pass out
I just slept for fifteen hours straight. It's like my body knows i'm drinking with you and is preparing..
be the chaos you wish to see in the world...
i'm trying to figure out how to respond to that in text
Pretty sure my aunt hooked up with one of my brothers frat brothers at his graduation party
Randomize
