I couldn't deal, she's a vegetarian. Every woman should like a little meat in their mouths.
I wouldnt endorse that guy if he was walking in a walkathon to raise money for a disease i had
I dont know whats worse: her telling me she was so drunk i was "almost sexy," the fact that even when theyre shitfaced, im just "almost sexy" to girls, or the fact that i wasnt that offended by it.
Hey, don't feel sorry for me, the two girls in front of me just ordered 18 dollars worth of taco bell. Life could be worse.
I just saw a girl walking up the hill with a little red wagon full of booze... I want to be in her study group.
You were offering to spell people's name for a dollar.
You'd think if the campus holds 28,000 undergrad I wouldn't run into three people I've hooked up with in one day
Last comment. I know of no exercises, diets or practices out there to help keeping balls young and healthy. They simply succumb to gravity.
After you finished the $300 bottle of wine you just started crying about how if Mulder and Scully didn't invite you to join the x-files your life would be meaningless because you "love that weird shit"
He's got the good dick trifecta - flip phone, works outside, bed with no headboard.
on a scale of one to ten where does vomming from being hungover during a professionalism lecture fit
honestly if there were pictures of last night i would be embarrassed.... im embarrassed without pictures
You kept running around yelling "I need my pajamas" & then you got naked. Shit just went downhill from there.
We just started our own DARE program: Drugs are really enjoyable.
Just think how much she’ll hate me when she finds out I fucked her father
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