Like worst hickies ever he always gives them like wtf
think what you will about my sexuality, just get the cigarettes
i'm not a human right now. not even a dancer.
There needs to be a term for a female version of a rusty trombone
When he took off his pants i accidently shouted "that is one small wiener," and thats when he left
you'd think someone with a dick that small would take what he could get
She was wasted. Kept yelling "what if I'm pregnant" and trying to push me into the tree. First and last time I bring a girl to my family christmas party.
I heard porn and smelled bacon cooking. I knew you had to be home.
nothing says 'im willing to leave my comfort zone for you' like letting you choke me during sex
Someone spilled vodka all over the elevator floor. Bring straws.
Your biggest crisis right now is that you can't decide whether to keep hooking up with AN NFL PLAYER or try to rekindle your relationship with your ex. You are a walking white girl problem.
PENIS EMOJIS WOULD MAKE MY LIFE SO MUCH EASIER GAH WHY DOES THE WORLD HATE ME
Probably won't be invited back there again considering last time his purebred corgi ate my pot brownie and had to be rushed to the hospital.
being serenaded is actually kind of awkward 2/10 do not reccommend
They made me leave the maternity ward, how do I get back in?
Maybe you should slow down tonight...
KINGS DON'T NEED ADVICE FROM LITTLE HORN-BILLS FOR A START
Randomize
