I want to have your abortion
We totally just fucked in a closet. These vacations with his family are causing creativity I never thought I had.
there is a time and a place for ass-grabbing and that was not it.
my mom was in labor with me for 32 hours, it's only fair to start drinking now.
Btw. Made out with a random kid at a frat. It's all good though. He invited us to his frat party tomorrow so yay! For having plans!
I DON'T CARE LET'S GET DRUNK AND GO. I STRAIGHTENED MY HAIR DO THIS FOR ME.
i'm half naked talking to a cat. you don't have to justify your life to me.
Fuck going to see The Hunger Games tonight. The only thing I'm hungry for is some dick. Let's go to the bar.
I need like a hormone stopper. Or a chastity belt. Or like a lady business alarm that goes off when I'm being too drunk.
They tried to convince me I broke Alex's nose. Also they stranded me on the roof.
That's what they get for locking a drunk laxer in Mitch's car.
Dude he fell into my wall and left an imprint then decided to have sex with the door open. Vents carry noise pretty well
A cute girl just told me she forgot to take her birth control and winked... I've never been so conflicted about fleeing in terror
Drunk me made out with someone's girlfriend last night, was invited to their place for a semi-threesome, and then walked home at three am. Can't decide if this is better or worse than drunkenly challenging everyone to taekwondo sparring matches...
Idk maybe I'll talk to him once he gets out of jail just to yell at him and get my strawberry ice cream back.
She was drunk running in the middle of the street when a cop saw her,picked her up and dropped her off at her house. This really doesn't surprise me.
Randomize
