Yeah he had his two razors labeled "face" and "pubes". Should I be disgusted or impressed?
How do I invite him to our 4th of July cookout without sounding too much like "hey you were my first orgasm and I want your dick inside my while watching fireworks"
you don't understand, he speaks spanish and is tall. i have to do him.
something isn't right. i offered to be his sex slave and he declined..
I just want you to sit on my face and to tell you you're pretty. Most girls would leap at this opportunity.
as much as i want to say no i cant cause i need the trophy wife training
Just high watching the holiday fireplace channel. My space heater lends authenticity to the fire experience. Come over.
I just stood on my roof naked pouring vodka onto my garden. sweet dreams
Drunk me made out with someone's girlfriend last night, was invited to their place for a semi-threesome, and then walked home at three am. Can't decide if this is better or worse than drunkenly challenging everyone to taekwondo sparring matches...
we left when one of the guys tried to stick himself with an IV that he found
This is even better than the wine from my laundry basket
Emily saved me from being trapped on my roof and then I beat her in a race at 5am it was a low key night
You can’t judge a dick by its balls.
Almost gave the delivery guy a 34 dollar tip. That high
Oh and ps....i was sleeping soundly until i woke up by the sound of amy on the phone with her mom sobbing hysterically because she cant stop having the shits.
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