I found your undies. They were wrapped around my leg.
A homeless guy asked you to feel your boobs, you accepted in exchange for his broom to go with your witch costume..... that's when I cut you off
I just made a friends list on fb of all the guys ive hooked up with. genius.
The guy i fucked last week got done first on the test in my 900 person class. If im pregnant at least it will be smart.
They were like stripper heels, except business stripper heels, the kind strippers would wear to court.
I would just like you to know that the guy I blew off last weekend to come find ur drunk ass just got drafted into the major leagues.
Moment of silence for the loss of that option.
In the middle of having sex with me, she reminded me that I was supposed to call my mom that morning. My penis has never retracted so quickly.
he might be the rich husband I pretend to love for the rest of my life!!!!
I'm going to need to borrow your helmet cam for my Wednesday night blackouts.
Just puke n rally. People can't judge, it's syllabus week.
its just been over 12 hours, and i`m dying, don`t know how i`m supposed to survive the holidays sexless
Question: what's the protocol for seeing your mistress walking alongside her clueless boyfriend? If you could answer this ten minutes ago, that'd be great.
For a guy who came before his dick was out of his pants, he gave surprisingly good head.
Sorry for prompting a philosophical penis discussion at 10:45 on a Friday night.
He unliked all of my pictures on instagram, I don't know whats worse, the fact that he did it or the fact that I noticed..
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