Now it won't go down.
You've got a gift.
My brain says no but my pants say off.
so the plumber came, he found condoms, feathers and glitter in the pipes.
I woke up hugging a loaf of bread and a water bottle this morning
My face left an imprint in the loaf...
Wow thanks 4 throwing jello at me an yelling who invited that guy to all the guys at the bar
Our Icelandic basketball player brought cocaine and rachael is screaming that he should do lines off her stomach. It's that kind of party
I had to have the guy I went out with last night come pick me up from the hotel the next morning after I ditched him for a firefighter..don't even talk to me about a walk of shame
I'm using my breathalyzer result sheet as a coaster for my 40.
this night may include but is not limited to : police encounters, wild animals, stomach pumping, and waking up in a field
I still have your make up all over the inside of my thighs from the face sitting. Free tonight?
Texas awaits me. And all the cocks that live there too.
He is nice. Kind of short though. But didn't try to rub his jean cock on me.
Which I appreciated.
There's a super pregnant woman here complaining about back pain. I better not see a live birth in the hair care aisle
woke with Taco Bell next to me in bed and people's shoe sizes written on my arm.
when i woke up with 300+ messages I didn't except them to be about coyotes and burning shoes.
Randomize
