If you're really into hairy Serbian chicks, Cleveland has a lot to offer(216): We're going to cougar night, the serbian chicks are the best aged.
You know the @ sign on twitter? i wish there was one of those in real life so that the smokin' hot guy at the bar would know the slutty unbuttoning of my shirt was directed @ him, not @ his friend who looks like Mickey Rourke post-face melting
you woke up, pulled a beer bottle out of your pants..took a drink and went back to sleep.
just heard someone say they saw a guy puke while riding a bike across campus without stopping
Note to self not a good idea to try and make out with a girl when she's crying over her boyfriend
it was a frathouse cornucopia of foul mixed drinks and "sangria", which im convinced was blood and pcp
He actually just looked up and said I'm gonna cum in my pants. and he did. no shame.
he had shaved armpits. I repeat: HE SHAVED. HIS. ARMPITS! First hookup of 2014 and it's with a weirdo. Alcohol:1 Me:0
Please don't call my dad a fuckpuppet, I feel like that would be awkward to explain later.
I might run out into oncoming traffic. Id rather break my legs and/or die then continue with today.
I'm glad I date someone who likes the simple things. Sex, kittens, and McDonald's.
I LinkedIn messaged people about jobs when I was blacked out
I gave him a hand job in the parking lot... now he thinks we're meant for each other...
If I slept with her my dick would come out glittery
coward.
I have cats now. Five of them.
Have you considered starting a global domination firm?
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