I have the sudden urge to buy a Snuggie and wear it to the grocery store.
she looked like the bat from fern gully.
we put on a show in the hot tub for our boyfriends, then climbed out and both got down on our hands and knees and puked at the same time--still naked.
hot girl, 5 o clock
do you know how to read a clock?
These 3 days between Christmas and new years when all the bosses are on vacation are essentially a competition to see who can do the least amount of work
She cried. My mom screams. And nut went everywhere. It was all around a bad situation.
i just rememebered i spent like 5 minutes on the ground warming some chicks toes.
I even tried crushing up viagra and putting it in his beer... And the next day he found the package on the counter. I told him it was for my friends husband.
It feels like my uterus is trying to crawl out of my ass wearing cleats. And yourself?
Oh I love our desires, it's riding my bike at 2 AM with a massive erection that I dislike.
Had a turkey baster with clean pee in it in my pants to pass a drug test, and the bottom fell off, so yeah I'm pretty pissed.
I fucked my ex boyfriend to get shrooms for you guys
That's the sweetest thing I've ever heard
Can we just get drunk and watch the Birdcage please I have no tolerance for straight men today
Also, can next Friday be Long Underwear Friday instead of Jockstrap Friday? Because I'm about to cough up a testicle.
Let's be real, he was never going to be tall enough
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