dude, that girl smelled worse than the great depression.
Whenever I'm sad I just imagine if babies were born with mustaches...
she says it's "been amazing lately"
i think basically because i hate her so much i'm trying to break her in half
its like they have never seen someone walk through campus with a plunger
his pokemon pajamas? the fact that he was proud of the stretchmarks on his arms? or finding out he has a daughter that went to high school with us? ...you tell me what was the dealbreaker
He fucked my earring out of my ear. Of course he's coming over again.
His hands were made for my vagina.
I'm sorry and I love you. One day we're going to live in a whore mansion with our babies and make boys cry.
Is she still in your room?
Not for long. My plan is to smoke her out like a small woodland creature.
My dad used the quotation mark gesture with his hands when he asked how my "roommate" was doing.
That may be because I drunkenly sent him a pick of you two curled up together like kittens. Two very buff kittens.
We went from zero to drunk tank in 45 minutes.
All I'm saying is that any 24 year old guy who sends me a snapchat from the vantage point of his dick with the caption "hiding behind my weiner" is off my list potentially dateable guys.
Well as if this year didn't suck enough already, I can now count 2015 as the year I got chlamydia
I think I'm gunna glue a sign to my head that says "WAKE ME UP BEFORE 7!" And go to sleep and hope a kind passer by wakes me up for my exam .
So I thought you might like to hear how I went to sams club to print some pictures and suddenly there was 20 pictures of your dick and my snatch on the screen
Randomize
