I loved tuna sandwiches so much in grade school it was so embarrassing
Everyday all the kids would be like oh grosss whose eating tuunnaa
So I walked out of my room and there was my brother....standing naked
It was literally the size of a half eaten tic tac.
Someone jacked my earrings off me or I threw em in the toilet again
I hate when that happens
Three people drank on "never have I had sex in a tractor." Iowa at its best?
Her Grandmother felt me up AND paid for dinner. If she doesn't get her shit together I'm gonna be her Step Grandfather.
Just to an Octoberfest and a sex party. Nothing wild.
Just stuck all that extra cocaine money we made in a savings account...like a responsible adult..
I have a boner in one of my pics with her which no one noticed.
I saw a classic trojan enz laying on his desk. So he's probably not into the kinky shit.
well he never texted me back and the pizza I took my rage out didn't deserve such malice
You left me a drunk voicemail of you describing your pizza to me at 2 AM
New rule: if you don't think racism exists, you don't get to put your penis inside me.
This is why you are going on a date. To see if he is fun or if we need to shank him in the parking lot.
Its like he got lessons from Jesus on how to use his tongue. And his dick.
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