Yeah, i don't remember peeing. or meeting the girl.
So he just rolled over in his sleep and said "that's a punctuation mark..."
How do guys with small dicks who cheat on their girlfriends get girlfriends!?!
Theres a handprint of sauce on my frig, one streaked across my face, a trail of it to my bedroom and sauce all in my bed and i have no idea what the fuck i ate.
Make this decision based on your love for dick - NOT based on the fact that its probably one of the worst things you've ever thought of doing
FUCK... Pulled a chick from the bar went to her house passed out on the shitter. She lives in a house full of girls. They were making poop jokes as i left
You thought you were drunk? I woke up at 6 o'clock this morning with a cheeseburger in my left hand a drink in my right with my window half way down. it was raining.... fml
well, at the moment I'm sleeping in someone's closet in a buzzlightyear snuggie, so I can't judge,
Yeah sorry about that. I got pulled into the Russian student society's end of term party. There was too much vodka and eurodance to come help you pack.
He said he looked out his window and I was sitting in the grass with blood everywhere talking to a dog.
he sneezed into my face mid-kiss
Bless his heart
So, just how hungover are you?
Not at all, surprisingly.
That has to be your X-Men power.
mid-sex she goes "oh my god. you aren't even going to remember my name in the morning, are you?". And i was so wasted that i straight up told her "honestly, I don't even remember your name right now"
shit... I double booked my fuck buddies
I had Mac n cheese made with weed butter last night. Epic
Randomize
