Stoned at DSW. SO MANY SHOES! THEY'RE FREAKING ME OUT.
Once again you get dinner and all I get is semen on my leg
what are u so afraid of ive smelled ur poop before
he keeps commenting everything on my facebook. it's like he's virtually peeing on me
Where does it all go? I've busted inside of you like 10 times in the last week.
I took my vicodin with tequila. I can FEEL gravity...
and I keep making him eat me out and buying me presents, this is paradise. I wish he cheated on me earlier.
You started throwing frozen shot glasses at people and you kept saying "it's fine, they melt."
We had a pillow fight. It looks like an angel exploded here. A DRUNK ALCOHOLIC ANGEL
It would be like a dance party with a dick inside you. I think that's what Ke$ha wants for the world.
On the plus side, I got cel phone video of a major fox news host doing coke.
Apparently getting a blow job in the mens room from the bar owners daughter will get you kicked out.
Some old bald man is a 100,000 dollar Audi sports car just revved his engine at me and held out his phone at me trying to get my number. I hate the valley.
8 stitches. Next time I decide to twerk while doing a keg stand, stop me.
Still can’t get over the fact that we ate beef jerky off a strip club floor
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