We will have to stop frequently for food, stretching legs, interesting things on the side of the road, and sex. So you might as well eat.
I googled what to do, and it said to squeeze the pressure out so people are taking turns sitting on my head. I can't believe I'm allowing this
In the middle of fucking me, she said "Hold on, I need my Hulk hands."
well when mom kept referring to my "black hole of a vagina" and how i devoured all the nuts at the party like i was a pro, i figured my stay was up.
Ohh man do you know how awkward it is to keep eye contact and have a normal conversation with someone while their hand is in your vagina?
I'm impressed you managed to decipher 'annslqllpprebBcncnj' into 'I'm drunk at the Vic, come pick me up and do me on the kitchen table'
ALSO, I NEED TO BORROW A CAT. ASAP
The bet was for naked jumping jacks. And it back fired, she just laughed at all the slapping noise.
This costume is too restrictive. The priest and I cannot get it on while I am wearing it.
Obviously. I'm here to let you eat things off my boobs and help you get laid.
idk. a stripper just bit me. I'm so disoriented
you're right. a strip only looks good in porn . mine just looks like a fucked up mullet
So his 25th anniversary post of love to his wife was almost verbatim what he said to me last week. Does that mean I win or lose?
He just brought a live lobster to the party.
we should get together and get drunk.
On a Monday?
don't discriminate against mondays.
Randomize
