come over anyways, right now, right this second
it can be a super quick quicky, then you can go back to studying
wow, that sounds SO fun, please stop enticing me with premature ejaculation
Thursdays are my worst days
but now we sippin champagne when we thirstay?
I'm gonna have bed sores at the end of this hangover.
So I had a Liz Lemon moment today....went to Chipotle to get my "cheer me up" burrito bowl for the 4th time this week and the chipotle guy sighed and said always the same huh?
Just whacked off in the middle of writing a paper, gave me great ideas. Note, should do this more often.
Well if it makes you feel any better I threw up at Roadhouse. And then on the way to the train. And then in a water fountain. And then in a plastic bag on the train.
Me either. I want to get 'chase a stray cat through the neighborhood in my hooker heels' drunk. And it's your birthday, so you have to get 'best friend holding your hair while you puke in the bar bathroom and cry about your life' drunk. In a feather boa.
I believe I won the Golden Vodka Bottle of sadness last night for crying while being party boyed.
They fucked on my pong table last St. Patty's and broke it. I feel like I should be hiding my new one. Would hate for a tradition to form.
did you know gatorade and rum go really good together
Are you doing depressed science again
maybe
He's only done it missionary. His world is about to be rocked. Do you know what I look like from behind?
First day in a very long time I've done more pushups than bong rips
Maybe I'm not hungover. Maybe I'm actually dying.
Yeah bc that's when u should take a Molly. At a house party with everyone from ur hometown
She got up, grabbed me a box of gushers told me to start eating, and immediately gave me the best head I've ever gotten.
Randomize
