so I was like, you know platform 9 3/4? I know something else with those measurements. best. pick up line. ever.
hey remember that time we got really drunk, you tried to find narnia in my refrigerator and passed out in the freezer drawer??
no.
i might even pee on it at walmart i am so nervous
ugh. my friday night is playin' Farmville on my face. time to harvest the blackheads...
Im dancing with my grandma to Low right now at the wedding. There's no coming back from this.
We are taking shots for every green Lon-Capa box we get for the homework.
These headphones make me feel like I'm sitting on John Mayers lap and he's singing just to me. I picture like a pitch black room with a single spotlight on us. Also, convinced Kyle to give me percocet soo.
You kept screaming how great you were at drawing poptarts and you insisted on drawing them all over my forearm
Trying to low-key throw up in the ocean is harder than it seems.
Remind me again why a vodka watermelon can't be a thanksgiving dish
I was trying to be an adult about it and simply deal with the situation, but a bowl seemed much more comforting.
That's all? I'm a pro at gay chicken. I'll touch his dick, I have no problem with that.
It was about the point the universe collapsed in on itself and I was a singularity of insanity that I realized I was tripping balls.
You told the entire smokers deck that you were blowing .08 now and anyone else willing later
my roommate woke me up with head. more awkward than it sounds.
Randomize
